What do you think are the most important qualities in a romantic relationship?
Growth and freedom and sexual exploration. A romantic relationship is unique in that it involves
two people coming together in a unique Eros sort of way that is commonly, and I would argue
ideally, reserved for just those two people. Because of the biology of bonding that occurs, and
the evolutionary goal of pair bonding being the rearing of offspring, there are forces hardwired
into us that drive us towards forming these relationships. And quite frankly, we seem to thrive
when in healthy versions of these relationships, so there seems to be something within us that
not only desires a romantic relationship, but is actually more actualized in these types of
relationships. A romantic partner is one in which they know me intimately, and can see things I
may not notice. They can see potential in me I'm not yet aware of, and can see blind spots I
have (both intentionally and unintentionally) and because they love me, they see the things in
me that will make my life more fulfilling. They love me enough to want me to grow into the best
me, and I love them in a similar fashion. But we don't want to control each other, we want to
nurture each other and give each other a safe place to explore who we are and who we want to be.
They give us the freedom to be who we are, because they love those things that make us unique,
but love us enough to call us out when the freedom becomes destructive. And the sexual
exploration is because it's fun, and it feels good, and it's bonding, and it's the only
relationship in which sexual exploration is appropriate, and when people are free and nurtured,
they're free to explore the depths of their physical pleasure as well.